Hey Jenny wanted to show you the layout I did with your template.
It is those four faces that are keeping me together lately. I have written post after post, only to delete them. I did not want to write a depressing post and I did not want to be whiny. Life has been difficult. A year ago we put our house up for sale, on the 28th we are taking down the sign. I guess God said, NO. If I am honest, I am having a difficult time with that “no.” I am mad, I am upset, I cry, I get angry, I don’t understand why. We came from financial hardships, we worked hard to be debt free (minus house and one car). We are now in a good position, and God is saying NO.
But God is working in my heart. I was watching and reading Shannon’s post to my oldest son and I could not even get through it because I was crying so hard (oh if you have not watched it go do so). I am wealthy, I do have so much. Which only compounds the guilt I have about my current house situation. So many lessons the Lord is teaching me, I just pray my heart is receptive.
Also I am in the running of first place as
“Worst Mother of the Year.”
Our oldest son just recently had a difficult time at school, we are still recovering from that. But today I spent the day almost throwing up because of my youngest. My youngest son asked if he could spend the night at a friends house, we knew the mother (who lives on our block). These are boys that are over our house all the time. They wanted to spend the night at the boys father’s house (the parents are divorced). We told our son ok but we need his name, address and phone number to where the father lives. Like I said we are comfortable with this family (so this is no reflection on them). But my son grab his clothes jumped in the car and took off without even a goodbye or a phone number where we could reach him. I figured he would call me when he got there….UM no. He was suppose to come home by 10am today, by noon I was beside myself. The mother was at work (did not have her wk number or even know where she worked), and I had visions telling an officer….
Umm officer I have seemed to have lost my child,
No I don’t know the address where he is
No I don’t know the phone number
Yes, I just randomly let him go with no way of finding him.
I spent all day telling myself what a irresponsible mother I am! I can not believe youngest son did this to me. He will never see the light of day again, and will be chained to his mother’s side!
Long story short, he got home around 4:30 p.m. and had a stern talking to, and is forced to sit by me the rest of the night. Uggg these kids are going to give me heart attacks and ulcers before they leave the nest!!
Ok I will actually hit publish this time. Thanks for listening, you are my blog therapy =)
Credits for my layout: Papers used from Theresa’s Birthday Boy Page Kit.
Along with heart elements from Helen Ehrenhofer
Layout by Jenny Cereal.
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{ 21 comments }
We have been in that place time and time again (the God saying no bit.) It is hard but gets easier with time–or at least it has been.
And I dread the day we ahve to try to sell our house and pray that when that time comes God will provide a miracle because with all its issues it would take on or a lot of money to fix it up. 
oh, i am sorry life has been so difficult lately. motherhood is hard on the heart, heh?
Hey sweetie, sorry you’re having such a hard time of it. I am glad that youngest is home safe. I can’t imagine what you were going through.
It’s a trying time right mow, I’ll give you that. Different roads, same frustrations. Wish you were here. We could get through it together. Or at tleast have a shoulder and an ear.
I’m praying for you. I’m here. In the gap.
Loving you.
Thank goodness your youngest is ok. And yes, he shall be chained to your side for the next few days
We have recently been told “no” by God too. I didn’t ask the question too loudly (surprisingly it was house related also) but before the question was from my lips to Gods ears his voice was coming back saying “Girl, NO!”.
I feel very selfish for not being grateful for what I have. Most of the time I am grateful. But sometimes I covet. And I don’t just covet a little, I guess I covet in a big way because I covet for something that I know in my heart isn’t realistic for our family and probably isn’t realistic for most of the people who live in that neighborhood. Sigh….I’m human. I guess I’m just lucky our Father loves me anyway
((hugs))
We have been through a HUGE no the last several years.
One thing we’ve realized is that the way God answered was His very best for us–although it looks really horrible!
God has done a wonderfully marvelous work in our lives and we can only thank Him.
However, the no’s really hurt.
Hang in there.
Lizzie
A Dusty Frame
I am sorry Laurel that your youngest now is giving you a scare like that. I think I would have chained him to me too (my son of course -
)….
You know - about your house. Maybe it is not time yet and one day someone will just ring the door-bell asking to see if you are selling your home. I know it is not easy, but the time will come that all will fall into place.
(((hugs))) & blessings…
PS: Great LO - got the template from Jenny too. Thanks for linking up.
That layout is beautiful! I personally believe that blog therapy is great–good venting, sometimes good advice (that you can ignore if you wish) and it’s free! (((hugs))) Mine are a lot younger than yours and this week I have found motherhood so trying. I dread those teen years…but I have hope as well. And as for the house, when God says no it is because He plans a yes down the road. And it is usually better than we can imagine…if we can manage the wait. Praying for you in the wait. more ((hugs))
(((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))) I’m sorry for your pain and can relate. As you know it was six years of “NO” for us to have another baby but oh, has God blessed us beyond measure!!!! Your time will come, L.
I’m praying for you, as always.
On a lighter note..I’m LOVING your layouts—-especially the one of you and hubby for your anniversary! Wow! Congrats, btw!
Oh and I can TOTALLY see my son doing the same thing and myself being in your position. Ugh! Thank you for posting about it—a great reminder to all of us!
More big hugs!!!! I would feel the same way. I also agree that your layouts are amazing. Keep up the hope. “No’s” are hard to experience but keep posting. Your vulnerability about your life and how you still make it through each day in God’s hand inspires all of us. Women were created to share and support each other. I will be praying for you today! I am hoping to write a post today about discouragement/encouragment since yesterday was a horrible, terrible, no-good day for me. But, that will have to come after we go to the doctor for my daughter’s oddly swollen finger. Check in later!
Ah–he’s just doing his job! His job is to challenge his way into responsible young man filled with integrity and rich character. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to whip into shape!
All teasing aside, I felt your pain, having lived that situation more than once. I can’t believe the depths of disappointment a mom feels when their child acts out of character. And yet, they are testing, they are trying, they are practicing becoming independent.
Big hugs to you and your family as you respond to God’s NO for the sale of your house. I’ve always wished that our foresight could be seen through the lens of hindsight. In weeks, months, perhaps years to come, I just know–you will be looking at this delay and thanking God. For all things come together for good with Him.
Love your layouts! I wish I had some free time to experiment! Maybe in retirement!
GOD BLESS YOU! with peace, with comfort., and with patience for that young man who is going to be attached to you for the next little while!
Diane
wow. hugs and prayers my friend! I love the scrap page! the boys.. i’d be choked too!
I fully understand. I have many posts on my dashboard marked draft yet i can’t bring myself to post them since everyone is whiney and Debbie Downer like. God is continually telling me to trust Him to be still and know. And I am okay with to some degree but sometimes I just want to move ahead and get out of the waiting period. May you have a blessed day resting in the Lord’s promises for you.
Love your family scrapbook page….wish I knew more about this digital scrapbooking, not that I have energy to do it right now:-)
Will pray for you, dear friend, as I know that waiting room all too well. God has said no to me on one particular issue for a couple decades now, so I’m finally learning to accept it. I have to trust that He knows best. Father knows best:-)
love you,
Vicki
I wouldn’t declare you the WMOTY just yet. I’m in the running and it’s only February, you know. I’ve plenty of time to push you out of the running…
Want to know why so many women my age take Prilosec AC? Because we survived raising our kids, but just barely.
He’d be chained to my side too, Laurel. He has to learn that what he did, and what he put you through, wasn’t acceptable. Sigh. All the hard lessons we have to teach them.
I feel bad about your house. I honestly think it’s the timing. I don’t know about Florida, but around here, home sales are at a dead halt. Houses just aren’t selling. I know you really hoped it would sell but don’t give up. This market will turn around. Sooner or later, it always does.
You can cry on my bloggy shoulder any time you want to, my friend.
Another side affect of surivivng motherhood? You lose half your brain cells. That’s Prilosec OTC, not AC. lol
And that’s “surviving,” not “surivivng.” Good grief. I give up.
I hate to hear of all you are dealing with. Praying for you and God’s hand to be over your family!
I now know why you posted your reply to my “Patience is Learned” post- you are really being allowed to do as James chpater 1 says, growing from faith to endurance to completion. Rest assured that you are never alone in this trial and that wisdom is only a prayer away. Though we do not know one another, I feel a sisterhood that comes from looking up in desperation for the guiding of our Heavelny Father. Rest assured that when God says no that your hindsight will tell you why- you will not be left answer-less forever. You are dearly loved and never forgotten by a generous and gracious God. Know that he wants to hear your cries of frustration and patiently holds you while you weep. Don’t ever let go of those strong arms.
Prayers and tears of empathy….
Sarah
(((Hugs))))
Beautiful layout!
Uggghh! I am not looking forward to those years! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences though and keeping it real so that we know that we are not alone in this chaotic thing called parenting. And I appreciate you letting me know you used my template! I have only seen 2 layouts done with my templates and this is one of them so it is a bit exciting to see my work actually be used!
Jenny
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