"I AM" part two…

I AM: Study Lesson Two “Beautiful to God”

Discussion Questions:

What is your initial response when anyone suggests you are beautiful?

I could write a book on this subject, but Angela Thomas already beat me to it. The Lord had been working in this area for awhile, and then when I read Angela’s book the flood gates broke. Now many may say I am pretty, and there is a reason God gave me a husband who’s pet name for me is “beautiful” (even ask the people at the office, they know it is me on the phone because he always says ‘hi, beautiful’” but I never believed it. While growing up I had some people around me that were BEAUTIFUL with a capital B, and I never seemed to measure up. At least not in my eyes. I was never as skinny, but was not fat. Was never as pretty or cleared skinned, or did not have the same stylish clothes. Years and years I had the feeling I did not measure up.

When I began dating, the only way I felt I could turn a head is if I made myself beautiful. It was at least a two hour process of getting ready, and basically telling myself I was good enough. Even then I did not respect myself. This followed into my marriage, my husband took on the name “beautiful” while dating and for me it felt almost condescending, like it was thrown in my face the first year. It took him repeatedly telling me how much I drive him crazy until I believe it. I will never forget one night laying in bed about to give birth to my second child, and he told me how beautiful I was. I began crying because I could tell he meant it, and here was this man that looked at me the same way when I was all dressed up for a party, or I was laying next to him looking like a beached whale ready to explode =) That is when God began to really start peeling away the layers of my harden heart.

Do you find you engage in a lot of negative ’self-talk’? How much of your thought life does this form of thinking consume?

I use to, big time. I think I heard myself loudly over what any other person said to me. It led to very low self esteem, it led to me not feeling confident in any of my abilities, and I felt I had nothing to add to my surroundings.

It was not until I took a Beth Moore study and began to repeat OUT LOUD bible verses for my ears to hear. Even today, when I struggle with this, I talk out loud and repeat verses and this really helps me. I don’t have the same negative ’self-talk’ as I did before, before it was around self image. Now it is on my ability to be able to contribute some worthwhile every Saturday on Laced With Grace or to be a vessel for God twice a month at Internet Cafe. Satan really likes to make me feel I am way out of my league. That is why I wrote the Spiritual Armor post awhile ago on Internet Cafe, I have had to cling to that for awhile.

Has it ever occurred to you that you are a City Girl? How do you plan to use this knowledge?

“We are City Girls, high-born daughters of the King and when people look at us they are to see peace and joy in our countenance in such a measure they will say, “Wow, she isn’t from around here is she? That, girls, is the kind of gorgeous we are after. ” (Preacher’s Wife)

This is such a true statement, I had an elderly mentor that you would not think beautiful until your first conversation with her. From that point on I wanted what she had.

In what ways has your view of Godly beauty changed as a result of these Scriptures?

God used this lesson to remind me where I was and where I never want to return. I think that is why I have the passion I do on my blog, to tell women God’s loves them. Because once you let that love penetrate down to the very soul of you, you can’t help but feel beautiful. And the verse the Lord gave me (kind of like my life verse) is this:

Zephaniah 3: 17

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing.

How can you not feel like a beautiful princess, when your bridegroom says that to you?