You always want to protect your kids from the harsh realities of life. You want to keep the rose colored glasses on as long as you possibly can, but some things are just out of your control as a parent. And some experiences I pray the Lord will use to teach my kids to grow into faithful men of God.
This last week my boys had such an experience. My youngest son has a best friend in our neighborhood, they are two peas in a pod. They can not live without each other but sometimes fight like brothers. My son’s neighborhood friend’s parents have been trying to get a divorce for awhile. First they separated, then they got back together. They are nice people and my son sometimes spends the night over at their house. Last week, I guess things got rough for the mother and I did not know what was going on until my sons came back and told me the story.
My boys watched the mother loading up her car and stuffing as many belongings as she could so she could leave her husband. While loading the car she was telling my older boys, “be good husbands when you are older, be nice to your wife, treat her right, etc…” I think my boys were speechless about how to respond. I know at that age I would have been also.
She gave my youngest son a key to their house and asked him to feed their dog until the husband showed up the next day. What my boys got was a sad reality lesson of how life can be.
They came home saying that the Mother kept telling my boys how lucky they were to have parents that loved each other.
The mother in me wishes I could have protected them from that scene, but it also gave me an opportunity to remind my boys that the ONLY reason Daddy and I can survive is because Christ is our foundation. Without Christ we are all lost.
I grieve for my son’s friend’s family. I have to believe there was a reason the Lord allowed my boys to witness this and hear these words, maybe when they are grown men in their own marriage I pray this memory will come back to them during difficult times.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
That is so hard. My kids are all old enough to remember my parents getting a divorce and remarrying–they got to learn those same lessons at fairly young ages.
That is a tough lesson to learn. Unfortunately in today’s world our children do have to learn it though. I do think it was unfair of her to unload on children. They have no knowledge of marriage and her statements should not have been directed at them.
I’m so sorry your boys had to go through that. My son has had to learn about divorce this year as well, unfortunately through a situation in our family. It’s been hard, and there are so many questions. Like you, we’re trying to teach him that it is by God’s grace and through His strength that we are committed to never divorcing.
Our children have been told by their cousins how “lucky” they are to have parents who are still married to each other. My husband and I are very careful to give all credit and glory to God for our happy marriage and healthy family. It hurts me when some of my children’s innocence is chipped away, though.
Oh Wow, Laurel,
It is difficult for me to allow the ugliness of our broken world to dawn upon my duaghter. I KNOW exactly how you feel girl. You handled this brilliantly. Brilliant.
Wow, what a hard thing for your sons to see. Thank God they could see the difficult things of this world with the hope of God shining through your example.
What a great way to handle what your boys saw.
My marriage ended a year and a half ago and we are still healing from it. The Lord gives me so many ways to turn this ugliness into teachable moments of what God desires in a marriage for my children.
It is hard to walk through this and so saddening that the World thinks it normal. There are so many hurting children out there.
Lori
I’m thankful God used that situation to reaffirm your family’s commitment. It’s so hard. My in-laws are divorced, so I know we’ll be encountering those hard questions as the boys get older and put it together that Mimi and Granddad don’t live in the same house.
Dang, that’s brutal! Poor kid!
I love that you used it to illustrate a life lesson instead of stomping over and telling her off (like I know a Mama’s first instict would be) after subjecting your son to that!
You go girl!