I have finally completed all my shopping; I have made a list and checked it twice. But like always something has thrown a wrench in my organization, that “wrench” is a teenager. You see this week progress reports came home, they are not report cards, but a “state of affairs” as the teachers see them. And in my oldest son’s case, it is his LAST WARNING before we ship him off to boot camp. Ok, not really but the thought has crossed this “worst mother of the year’s” mind.
You see Santa I have purchased some neat presents for my son. My son, who brought home a poor progress report. What is a mother to do? First I wish the school system would hand the reports to us either before any shopping for the Christmas holiday has been performed or after the fact so we can take away certain presents. Sigh..
Santa he is a good boy, and I know that he tries, and it is hard work being the good looking “big man on campus.” Even his grandmother said, “He is too good looking for his own good.” I am afraid all this has gone to his head and pushed out anything his father and I have taught him.
Every teacher, except one, commented on his attitude. Not sure how he was good for that one, but I will count my blessings as they come. This teenage attitude can be good one day, and the next day you want to know what planet he is from. Many wonder if he has had any parental training at all.
So on Christmas day he will be able to open all the things he can have after grades and attitude have improved. Being a parent of a teenager is just plain hard, I hate playing the bad guy, I want to have fun with my children. I have come to understand why some animal mothers eat their young, that is because that mother has no more pride left for that particular child to crush.
Santa if you think about it, can you add coupons to the local wine store in my area?
Sincerely,
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{ 16 comments }
Oh my. I don’t envy you the teenage years. But you’re a good parent and you know the right things to do to keep him on track. Our progress reports are due to come out on the 10th. My guy is little nervous. That can’t be a good sign.
Oh how funny! I love hearing this story because it sounds like me and my son! He received the “Most Handsome” award when he was a senior. He graduated in May of this year. Yes, he thinks he is the “stuff”. He is also a wonderful child. We went through the same things you are with the progress reports. Just hang in there girl and do what you think is best for your child. Sounds like you are doing great!
ahhhh….your scaring me! my teenagers years seem so far away but i know they’ll be here before i know it!!!
good job mama!
Reading this brings those years back in full force, Laurel. This is so typical of a boy his age, especially if he’s a big man on campus. He’ll get his act together. Really, he will.
How I wish we were closer, I’d bring over the Ben n Jerry’s and we’d consume it together.
And that weeping and gnashing you here over your shoulder?
yeah.
Me.
I’m in the same trench just down the way.
here, hear …
tomato, potato…
I hear ya. Three, count ‘em, three teenagers over here. Hang in there Laurel! You guys are good parents. And hey, you have a direct line to God to talk things out.
Ugh! Teenagers! It is so good to know that I am not alone! Misery loves company you know.
Have you tried emailing his teachers to check in? Or, as my two are doing this week, make him check in with each teacher with a spreadsheet detailing if all homework is current, current grade, and any areas of improvement needed.
Hang in there!
Yeah - the teenage years are the hardest. But if I can make it through them - you can too. Although I had to head off to a quiet place many times, but He gave me the strength NOT to ship off our son.
I do not look forward to the teenage years. Gevan is only 2 years away… oh my.
Laurel,
First of all, great post! It is the quandry of every parent….the insecurities that arise each time our child(ren) struggle represents our deep love for them…and distorted fear that we alone are responsible for their outcome!!!!
Long ago, during the twelve years that my husband and I hosted 21 foster children, all teenagers, in our home (not at the same time…thankfully), I heard a parenting expert on Christian Radio speak to the dilemma of how to apply appropriate discipline. One of the distinctions he made was to “always have the punishment line up with the crime.”
For instance, if the teenager fails to do something he/she committed to, an appropriate discipline might be failing to allow the teen to go to a commitment of fun (a football game, a dance, a date).
Another distinction he made was, if the ramification for a behavior is going to be huge (like not getting Christmas gifts!), advance warning is required. We used this distinction when planning a “family trip” to Disney World. Our foster daughter was not doing well in her classes in school (it was a matter of commitment rather than inability) and we gave her advance warning (at the beginning of the quarter) that if her grades were not where they should be, she would not be joining us on the “family trip.” We checked in with the teachers with regularity, we encouraged good study skills and made study time readily available. We offered all the help appropriate….and reminded her as our departure date loomed.
Still, she did not hand in finished assignments and her grades reflected her carefree attitude. Sadly, we had to put action to our warning and she did not come with us that year to Florida. I’m not sure we would have had the strength to follow through–had we not given advance warning.
I digress. All of this is to say–I really loved your Dear Santa letter….and think you are doing a great job!
One more thing….I hope you get those wine coupons in your Christmas stocking!
Diane
Those were the days…trust me…they DO get better.
I’m prayin’ for ya!!!
Laurel,
As far as the attitude goes, I think it is typical teenage behavior. Don’t you remember how, when we were teenagers, that we thought our parents and teachers didn’t know a thing? LOL We probably drove our parents to distraction.
I’m sure you are a good mother and have raised your son to respect others and to be a good citizen. Remember if you “Raise a child up in the way he should go, he shall not depart from it.” So, it may take a few years but he will come around. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, but I will definitely keep him in my prayers.
Blessings,
Mary
I’m not looking forward to those years. I guess what goes around comes around. Hope things get better and you have a wonderful Christmas.
Here’s another mom with a poor progress report on her teenager. He didn’t like The Great Gatsby, so he decided not to do the paper about it. Arrrgh!
Oh, I could do with a coupon or two of that wine and I only have a tweener…
Hang in there girl. He’s going to have to suffer through some tough love to be that man that God has in mind for him.
But don’t we all? Don’t we all…
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