“We women must realize how visual men are, and because of that we should wear modest clothes. Not because we don’t have the right to wear what we want, but for the benefit of the spiritual life of our brothers in Christ”
~Heather Arne Paulsen Emotional Purity:An Affair of the Heart
So many times when I am on the football field, or even sometimes at church I find myself saying, “I can not believe she is wearing that and my husband can see her.” Did she not look in the mirror before she left for the day? As a wife I don’t like to be in that situation.
As a woman sometimes I can understand because while growing up I struggled in this area. I wanted to dress pretty and be noticed. I believe it is a form or insecurity in many women. It comes from the days of being a little girl in a dress and twirling around saying, “look at me Daddy.” As girls we receive compliments by the pretty dresses, and pretty appearance we display.
When I read the book, “Do You Think I am Beautiful” by Angela Thomas, it was not just the women who consider themselves plain that suffered with the self image problem, it was knock-out, drop dead pretty women. We all want to be noticed. Some are noticed by a special skill or talent, or ability. And some are noticed by how they make themselves look towards others.
Now I have a teenage son, I am seeing things differently. I cringe when I see a lady in a tank top that does not cover her stomach, or someone wearing something low cut that does not leave much to the imagination. This not only can cause a young man to trip up spiritually but it also can cause a grown man who is secure in his marriage to view his wife differently. “Why don’t you wear things like that?” “Oh you would look good in that.” Are comments a wife can hear, and even if said in innocence it makes her feel she does not measure up. There needs to be a balance of being stylish and feeling good about how you look and being modest around others. Your modest clothes are not just to be worn to church (even that is becoming a problem), but at all times. Football games, grocery stores, shopping, etc.
I am shopping for a dress to attend a wedding, and for a Christmas dress. I have to say I am struggling to find something that is not all bare on top. It is becoming more difficult but there are places that cater to modest, stylish clothing. As women we need to make sure we support them with our money, and make it known we will not put up with many of the styles that are out there now.
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Not only modest dress, but clothes that don’t have offensive or suggestive things written on them! I still can’t get over seeing teenaged girls at the beach with “Juicy” writ large on their derrieres.
I think our whole society is geared to the over-stimulation of men. It’s really hard to find clothes for my pre-teen daughter that aren’t inappropriate. It seems that all the pre-teen bras are padded and low cut, too!
Beautiful Laurel. Excellent post.
Wonderful post! Bless you for sharing.
1. When women dress a certain way, it can make a husband comment to his wife, “why don’t you wear that?” Proving that modesty goes further than just the issue of lust..
2. Insecurity - I agree this is the cause of this immodesty problem.
ok…football games, I almost ‘expect’ it there….but CHURCH, I sit and shake my head….those guys have to be so tough.
great post…as always
AND
I love your new home here…the colors and the header are sooooo pretty!!
love it, love it, love it!!
peace,
lori
Oh, I love your new look! Beautiful!
And the modesty issue? As the mom of four sons, I say AMEN!
A BIG Amen! I find it hard on me—being a wife—not wanting my own husband to “look” —when some women are so evident in their desire….LOOK AT ME—
I also find it aggravating in the work place—I don’t want to be subjected to it—-it is just inappropriate.
Your post is right on—timely—and says what is in most of our hearts!
Thanks!!!
Laurel, I appreciated your candid descriptions. I feel the same way and have caught myself saying the same things. The challenge is when we are shopping to not lower our bar, so to speak, because of how difficult it is to find something modest. Sometimes I am even tempted to buy that “hot” number just to prove I can do it, too. But fortunately I remember that it is not a competition and in the Lord’s sight I am beautiful exactly how He made me. It helps to have a husband echo those sentiments, too.
Thanks SO much for sharing! You wrote so clearly and to the point, and not in a legalistic manner at all. I so appreciate it AND you!
It IS hard taking our children (& DH) places where we do not see TOO much skin! But it’s a reminder too, of how we need to be reflecting Jesus and how He wants us to appear. Thanks again!
it makes me mad when i go shopping — AND HUGE 10 foot billboards are staring me in the face with half naked women/men are staring me in the face. ,b>i don’t want to see that but how can i avoid it when all i’m trying to do is pick up some eggs and butter. and then my heart goes out to my brothers, father, friends….husband who are being constantly bombarded by “stuff”. it’s not whatever
great thoughts!
Very well said, my dear friend. It is so hard for women to shop modest AND look stylish! I do not like shopping…I am not 100 years old (yet) but I do not want showing anything that is only for my husband to see. I think we need a lobby!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts…
Blessings to you and yours.
Welcome to WordPress! Your new look is fabulous!
Ditto Heather’s points, and one of my own:
3. Modesty also goes further than the way we dress.
Great post! Very well written. I didn’t have time to say everything I wanted to say on my own post, but you touched on part of it here. Many women are insecure–so much so that to meet the “industry standard,” to dress like the world and be accepted, they choose to enhance their bodies. I am far from being perfect, but I am wonderfully made!
I love your new blog!
I agree, insecurity is a main cause of immodesty. Girls want to be noticed and be loved, and they think getting attention with their bodies will do that for them. . . . Even girls in the church. I think part of the problem is girls aren’t being shown the security we find in a relationship with Christ. That relationship which fills the voids in our life. The relationship which gives us inner confidence. As a mother, I do need to guide my daughter in what to wear and teach her about purity, but most importantly I need to teach her that she is important to God. That He loves her heart, and that she is secure in her relationship with him. In the safety of His love we can express who we really are without fear of rejection.