Kevin Leman says “Branching off” is good for a middle child

When my oldest son was nine months old, I found out I was expecting again. Having two babies 18 months apart was a challenge, at least for the first year. After that the two brothers played very nicely together. One of the disadvantages of being a middle child, and one so close to the oldest, is the childhood memories seem to run together. For my oldest I remember everything because each step was a milestone and for my youngest I remember everything because I grieve each last step.

I have mommy guilt when I try remembering my middle child’s milestones. I do remember his teachers, he is my one and only child that is in the gifted classes, and he is my “Jim Carey” of the family. In that respect he is a typical middle child. Kevin Leman says “Branching off” is a powerful force in shaping middle-borns. Meaning the middle child will be the opposite of the oldest born. I find this very true in my family.

Oldest is influenced by friends.
Middle child does what he wants whether his friends want to join or not.

Oldest can not go a day without socializing.
Middle is more independent.

Oldest is driven by sports and practices a lot.
Middle likes playing sports, but it is only entertainment for him.

This school year he is stuck in the middle of middle school, not the youngest and not the oldest. 7th grade is the grade to survive. His oldest brother is beginning high school and youngest brother is at the top of his game in fifth grade.

On the other hand, it will be a year I am excited about, middle child will be going to his own school and won’t be influenced by what “big brother” is doing. I am excited to see him “branch out” and become his own individual. I am also excited to see what he will do next to make me laugh out loud:

(dream big child, dream big, just like that ice cream cone!)

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Tagged as: Family, Kevin Leman, Middle Child, middle child syndrome, Middle School

Susie

Great post, and as a middle child myself, I'm excited for your son and what is ahead of him this year "branching out" on his own.

Deedra

I hope he has a fabulous year and gets to shine like never before! What a doll he is!

p.s....thank you for your sweet comments!

Barb @ A Chelsea Morning

Now don't laugh at me, but I think he actually favors Jim Carrey a little. He does.

What a unique place you're in, Laurel. One in elementary school, one in middle school and one in high school. That's what I call spacing your children apart - perfectly! This is a special time because each of your boys gets to be unique to his brothers.

Debbie

Although I don't have my own children, I am a middle child. My brother is 18 months older and my sister is 7 years younger than me. And let me tell you, we do survive and find our own place. I am the only one who lives on the opposite part of the US and I've always been a little bit different than my siblings. But we love each other and get along great despite our differences.

Kristen

I just posted about this not too long ago. That poor middle child syndrome. She beats to her own drum, and seems to not mind that she has had the shaft all these years with the spotlight being hogged by her older and younger. Makes it easier to deal with that way, but still makes me feel sorry for her!

Heather Young

I know what you mean about the middle child--my middle child is so totally different than the others it is amazing--though sadly, because of the ways she is different, she often gets neglected (she is not nearly as "needy" as the other two). It is good to see your middle moving in his own direction. :)