
I did not want to write this, in fact my attitude was anything but grateful..but I see God’s hand to much, not to be thankful today. This post is more for me to write out, than for you to read so I won’t mind if you move along, won’t be offended ;)))
I wish I could say it is rare when tears spring from my eyes, but for some reason these last few days it has been more the norm. The sinful side of me wants to walk away and say I have had enough of ____ (motherhood, friends with cancer, my house stuff, fill in the blank…). But God never lets you go, even when you want to let go.
For example…
1. I spent last night heading to the grocery store talking to God all the way to the store and back, asking questions, etc… When I got home and sat at my computer the Lord led me to a wonderful woman’s blog who I have never visited and really I have not idea how I ended up on her site, but she said words that I needed to read right at that moment. God used her to pierce my heart. I commented some thanks and later in the evening she emailed me back with more encouraging words. Yes this is what it means to have sisters in Christ.
2. I have a husband that lets me “get it all out” he listened to me cry about various stuff last night. And then when I thought I was all done emotionally, I was wearing a ratty large shirt, my face is swollen, he looks over at me and says “Well I don’t know all the answers but I do know one thing and that is, you are beautiful.” Well my goodness it made me cry again, ha!!! But it felt like God just putting his arm around me.
3. For those of you who are older do these emotions get worse as you get older? I don’t want to enter into any menopause, my family will run away screaming. HA!!
4. Then I woke up, saying ‘today is a new day.’ And then I get a sweet e-card from a friend and I am a blubbering mess again.
I know by now that Mom is rolling her eyes saying (yep, that’s my daughter)….But things I have learned (and this is maybe more for me to write out than for you to read but…..)
a. God never leaves.
b. Even though he may not give me the answers I want, he has already done everything. Another thing the Lord led me to read last night was this:
Many times I have felt that God was playing a game with me called, “Challenge”. Here is how it works, A problem presents itself, then with both of us looking into each others eyes ( I do notice a smile on God’s face.) I say to God, “I have done all that I know to do according to your Word, Father, it is your move.” Now, here is where the ‘challenge’ comes in. He seems to be staring at me, with that beautiful smile…but He is doing nothing. by Benji Clark Mallory
I did not realize it until I read these words, but that is exactly where I find myself. But gently reminded me HE HAS ALREADY DONE EVERYTHING for me! How, as a seasoned Christian, can we get so wrapped up in things that we lose sight? It just shows how dependant I am of God each and every day, and he is reminding me of this. When things are good, I ‘know’ I am dependant on him but when life is hard I RELY on it. It is my salvation.
I want to say publicly Angie, you have been a witness in your grief. Angie lost her sister, and amongst pain there is praising. Thank you for your witness and my prayers are with you as you go through this season.
And I strongly believe the Lord desires our joy, he led me to this post (and maybe it was the mood I was in, but I laugh so hard I had tears coming from my eyes). It was good to have a great big belly laugh.
UPDATE: If you have not see the video Shalee posted, it is a pee in your pants you laugh so hard funny…I have not laughed so hard. Go WATCH IT.
What a jumbled mess of a post, sorry.
“Jesus Christ went into the ultimate wilderness and lost God so that when you and I go into our little wildernesses we can find God.”
- Tim Keller
For more TT post, visit my friend Iris at Sting My Heart
Tags: Thankful Thursday