Laurel Wreath’s Reflections

Oh I know I have posted this before, but I just can not get enough…especially on “over the hump” day of the week. Wach..be blessed.

des·ert (–noun) a region so arid because of little rainfall that it supports only sparse and widely spaced vegetation or no vegetation at all.

Many times when someone says they are walking through a desert, something is happening in their life that is causing them to struggle. If you are like me, I would assume the cause of the desert is something external. For example a child acting up, or a financial crisis, or a marriage in trouble, etc.. Something tangible is causing this desert. I use to think that….but last week I found you can have everything fine in your eternal life, but you are living in a internal spiritual desert. Now I am talking about Christians here, because if you don’t know Christ then you are always in a spiritual desert.

I like to avoid things. If something is unpleasant I will ignore it or stuff it down. If my feelings were hurt or something is not going my way, you would probably hear me say, “that is ok, then it is not God’s will.” I would mean that with my whole heart, I would not be lying. But one thing I have learned is that I like to “stuff” things until I blow. This happened in my marriage early on, I would blind side my poor husband with things that happened in weeks past, but finally they were surfacing because something happened to push me over the edge. I have since learned not to do that in my married life.

Unfortunately, last week God showed me that I have been doing that in my spiritual life. God pushed and pushed and pushed me on things I did not want to confront. I just wanted to say, “your will be done” and end it there. But God, being God knew I was “stuffing” my feelings. He began bring the stuff up I wanted to keep down. It was stuff I could not control, stuff I could not change, but God knew the feelings it was causing in me. Instead of voicing and confronting my feelings I would just ignore them, then they become seeds of anger, seeds of jealousy, seeds of bitterness that I was not aware of.

I don’t like to be angry, but with God pushing me, he was making me angry, truly angry to the point where I yelled out, “where is all this anger coming from Lord? Where!!” I was going through a spiritual desert. And I will be honest as I am writing this, I am still trying to figure everything out.

But God pushed me so much until I lashed out finally. I got angry at HIM, I had my hissy fit. Then suddenly I hear the still voice that says, “finally, now we can move forward.” Let me tell you I did not like that one bit. I am still raw over it, but God was showing me that we can be in a spiritual desert that can affect our walk with him and not even be aware of it. God knows I want to live His will, He also knows my heart’s desire even though I fail daily. But most of all He knows what keeps me from knowing Him deeper. “When I am found in the desert place, Blessed be your name.” Praise God he never lets me go. I could not appreciate the mountain, if I did not live in the desert.

You can get the CWO icon here. Head on over to Sting My Heart to read more wonderful takes on this weeks quote.

Tara Wilson from Real Women Scrap and Lessons from the Scrapbook Page is having a big end of the summer blast. There a many cool prizes. Head on over there to see what it is all about.

(click on picture for a bigger image)

I want to thank you so much for all the comments you made concerning my rambling post. I can not begin to tell you how God used your comments to speak to me. I did run away to the beach on Sunday, it calmed and refreshed me. But boy am I red….sometimes I have no brain because I went to the beach on the fly and forgot sunscreen. Just call me tomato =)

I would like to introduce you to Allison Bottke. She is currently having a blog tour for her new book One Little Secret and she graciously agreed to stop by here. Allsion writes “women’s fiction with an attitude!” She published her first book in 2001 which was a collection of short stories titled God Allows U Turns. She is an author, speaker, and a woman who is living her dream. Her writings have coined the phrase “Boomer-lit.” What is that you ask? It is defined as a genre of chick-lit for the more mature woman.

I hate to admit it I am new to Allison writings, but I am blessed by her ministry and I loved reading her new book. Allison’s desire is to have women dream BIG! And with her new book One Little Secret she combines witty characters and big dreams that lead to wonderful twists that only God can make happen.The back of the book reads:

An invitation to record a CD with a hunky, young pop star?
It’s the stuff dreams are made of….right?
For Ursula Rhoades, a suburban wife and Mom,
One little Secret is about to change her whole life.

Allison answered a few questions for us today:

Laurel: I love the name Ursula, one of your main characters in One Little Secret. Can you tell me how you came about choosing that name?

Allison: I was seven years old when Ursula Andress made her screen debut as the first Bond girl in the film Dr. No. I don’t recall seeing her in that movie, but I do recall a year later when I was eight and she starred with Elvis Presley in the movie, Fun in Acapulco. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world and her name stuck with me. At the same time, Raquel Welch came on the scene, and her name, too, was unique. I vacillated between Ursula and Raquel when I pictured this character back in my debut novel, A Stitch in Time, (where Ursula was first introduced.)

Laurel: What kind of reader did you have in mind as you wrote One Little Secret?

Allison: Boomer babes like myself! Women who epitomize the baby boomer definition on my Boomer Babes Rock web site.

Laurel: What is the definition of a “Boomer Babe?”

Allison: Here’s the definition that appears on my web site. “A Boomer Babe was born between 1946 and 1964, we are women who are comfortable enough in our own skin to realize that the mid-life years can be some of the best and most exciting in our entire life. That the hubris of youth is behind us and the wisdom of the years has made us pretty darn attractive—both inside and out. We are Boomer Babes and we’re proud of it!”

Laurel: What type of research did you have to do in learning more about the music industry?

Allison: I’ve always been a big fan of the classic American standard love songs that singing icons such as Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra and Harry Belafonte made famous. I knew the songs I wanted to feature in Ursula and Nik’s recording sessions – they have been favorites of mine for many years. But I also conducted a lot of research online. As writers living in this century, we have an amazing gift…THE INTERNET. You can find just about anything you need online. For instance, I needed to know a great deal about the annual GRAMMY AWARDS, including what categories Nik and Cristoff would have been entered in, and who was nominated in previous years and such. I found everything I needed, including song lyrics, online.

Laurel: I like how you demonstrate through your character Ursula, that God can use a person even when their own life is not perfect. Have you ever felt life was spinning out of control, but then out of the blue God uses you in another persons life for His glory?

Allison: Wow, great question. Yes! This seems to happen often to me – I call these occurrences “Godincidences.” Times when we realize that whatever trial we are undergoing really isn’t all that major in the big scheme of things.

Laurel: Your Boomer Babes Rock! blog has gained more and more attention, tell me how the seven of you came together?

Allison: For years I’ve been known as the “God Allows U-Turns Poster Girl.” I’ve been blessed with that moniker and it’s always a joy to share with people how my life direction radically changed. Yet over the years, I found myself being drawn to the challenges my fellow baby boomer sisters were experiencing. In late 2006 I woke up one day with the idea to develop a web site separate from GodAllowsUTurns devoted to boomer women. We launched the new business, BoomerBabesRock on January 1st of 2007. A cornerstone of the outreach is a monthly electronic e-zine that we call a “Dream-Zine.” It’s called Boomer Babes with Brilliant Dreams and our goal is to empower and encourage baby boomer women to achieve the dreams of their heart. Our mission statement is: “Boomer Babes Rock, where fun, fashion, food, family, and faith merge to empower and inspire boomer women around the world!”

As for the blog portion of Boomer Babes Rock…I knew the six ladies I invited to participate on the blog. They are all extraordinary baby boomer women. I’d read their books, met most of them personally, and knew they had messages to share with readers. I wanted this daily blog to be more diverse than simply Musings by Me (smile). Each of our blog team have a specific day they blog. I sure hope your readers will check out their Profile pages on our blog and stop by often to read what they have to share.

Here is their blog posting schedule:

Monday = Dotsie Bregel, Founder of NABBW (National Assoc. of Baby Boomer Women)
Tuesday = Eva Marie Everson, Author and Speaker
Wednesday = Connie Pombo, Author & Speaker
Thursday = Keri Wyatt Kent, Author & Speaker
Friday = T. Suzanne Eller, Author & Speaker
Saturday = Allison Bottke, (moi!)
Sunday = A Day of Rest
Pinch Hitter = Cheryll Hutchings

Laurel: Okay, how did you come up with the story idea for One Little Secret?

Allison: The idea actually germinated from a television interview I saw with Meryl Streep well over a dozen years ago. I think maybe it was with Larry King. She said she would love to work on a film where she got to sing. I’ve heard her sing and she has a fabulous voice (Alas, Prairie Home Companion didn’t do her justice.) I’ve always wanted to work in films and from that interview I began to write a script for her…figured I’d create a role she couldn’t refuse. Nothing like starting at the top of the Hollywood food chain, eh? I mean, seriously, Meryl Streep? But the more I though about it, the more the ideas came. I called the screenplay, JUST A HOUSEWIFE, because as the lead character, she would be anything but.

When Bethany House asked me for another novel after A STITCH IN TIME, I remembered this screenplay gathering dust on my shelf and pitched them the idea. And voila! Just a Housewife became One Little Secret. As an FYI to your readers, because I still dream of Meryl Streep playing the lead of Ursula Rhoades, I’ve developed a Hollywood Casting Call Contest on my web site where folks can vote for their favorite actors and actresses to play Ursula and Nik and some of the other cast of characters from One Little Secret.

Laurel: Glad you mentioned that, because I was going to bring it up…what exactly is the Hollywood Casting Call Contest all about?

Allison: It’s a whimsical contest but if the book is actually ever adapted to a screenplay, I’m going to award the person who best guesses the actual movie cast with an all expense paid trip to Hollywood. Your readers can vote on who they think would make the best Ursula and Nik—from stars like Catherine Zeta Jones and Antonio Banderas. It’s a fun and funky contest, how about you stopping by and voting, okay? Check out the contest here: http://www.boomerbabesrock.com/bookcontests.html

Laurel: With this new book released and moving all at the same time I bet your head is spinning. What is next?

Allison: Whew! Getting through this move from MN to TX is the main thing right now, along with this Blog Tour. But I’m working on a new series of novels for boomer women! I’ve just been contracted by David C. Cook Publishers to write three new Boomer-Lit books in a series I’ve called THE VA VA VA BOOM series. All three books will introduce entrepreneurial boomer babes who own their own businesses. Additionally, each woman has a deep dark secret and a deep dream desire. The first book in the series will release in 2009.

Oh…but…I have a serious non-fiction book releasing this March from Harvest House Publishers. It’s called SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR ADULT CHILDREN – SIX STEPS TO HOPE AND HEALING. This book comes from my heart and was written to help parents in pain who have been enabling their adult children to gain SANITY and stop the craziness.

Laurel: Is there anything you’d like to share with my readers that I haven’t asked you about?

Allison: I guess one of the main things I’d like to ask is that your readers please pick up a copy of One Little Secret and read it—and then let me know what they thought of it. I really want to grow as a writer and obtaining reader feedback is vital for that to happen. Also vital is the word-of-mouth recommendations readers can make about books they enjoy. If your readers like One Little Secret, I pray they will share it with others—and encourage their local bookstores to carry my work. I’d also like to invite your readers to visit my web sites where they can sign up for our free monthly Dream-zine, see my Blog Tour schedule, and read the Writer’s Guidelines for the next volumes in the God Allows U-Turns series. Here are the web site URL’s: www.AllisonBottke.com , www.GodAllowsUTurns.com and www.BoomerBabesRock.com (you can just click on the links and it will take you right to the web sites).

However, more important than that is my final word of the day…and that is for your readers to take the risk and reach for their dreams! God has placed a desire in your heart—He has given you special gifts—and he wants you to use them. No matter how old we are—there is still time to discover God’s purpose for our life—and to make the choices that will change the story of our life.

Laurel: Thanks for taking the time to interview here at Laurel Wreath. I look forward to the times we connect in the future!

Allison: Thanks so much for having me!

I have to say I really enjoyed reading this book, in fact it kept me up late. I could not go to bed until I had it finished. This is the perfect book to whisk you away and make you dream big. Thank you so much Allison for helping me dream big. I would also like to mention that Allison is a regular contributor at Christian Women Online, she writes a monthly column titled Boomer Babes Rock. Be sure to visit her monthly and READ HER BOOK.

Even if you are not I would encourage you to read this article…

http://www.onenewsnow.com/2007/08/perspectives_readers_beware.php

(for parent eyes only)

Also check back here on Sunday I have a special interview…but right now it is a Secret.

Have you ever been struggling with something, but not really not know exactly what it is. For me it took listening to a message on the computer to be able to bring my jumbled thoughts together. When Shalee wrote her post here about

loneliness has become an unwelcomed guest in my heart, and I don’t know how to properly evict it and all its belongings.

I told her that was a post I could have written lately. But I could not pin point where it was coming from. Yes, it was end of summer blues, it is hot, etc..

Today I have come to realize that the lack of community is getting to me. I am not talking about blog world/computer world; I am talking about real life here. Let me ramble here and maybe I will find the point.

I use to teach women’s bible study; actually I taught two different times. I use to be active in Middle School group, but stepped down due to several factors. Manly man and I attended Sunday School regularly, we were in the Pastors Sunday School class. Well something happened, my pastor was caught in sin and he suddenly had to leave. That alone was crushing, but it also took us out of the class. The Sunday school class was dismantled and we are expected to join another class. Manly man and I have not. We have only been attending “big church” while the kids are in Sunday school, and then we go home.

Part of me is not excited about the other classes offered, that is not the church’s fault I think the problem lays in my attitude. The only women who I have connected to at the church is the older women, I think that is why I liked the Pastor’s class so much. I find it difficult to connect with the women my own age. I know I may be part of the problem.

When I had surgery, it was the older women who reached out (even though many younger ones knew about it). When I was new to the church it was the older women who made me feel welcomed. When I try to reach out to women in my own age group, I get the nice pat pleasantries but nothing more. No depth. I have tried to reach out to women to try to attend the women’s conference, but it is only “we will see” and they attend/room with someone else. The only way to go to these events would be to attend by myself, people are nice but they have their own friends they attended with.

I am a person who likes to form deep friendships, but many of the things at church are superficial. My closest friend at the church about a year ago left to attend another church. I really like the youth group at my current church, and I have to admit that is why I am staying. But even there I am struggling. I realize as I say all this, I want you to realize I know I am not free of blame here.

There were a few incidents during the mission trip my oldest son went on, my son was at fault. Nothing major, but it came to light the struggles I am having with raising a teenager. I think I feel more shame then support from the church. No, a person did not “shame” me, but agreed with me that my son was acting out. I explained that is why he has not been going to middle school youth group, and they said “they understood.” Now after making a comment like that, what support should I expect from a church?

In all honesty I really don’t know. Maybe that is what is at fault, my expectations. I truly like the people, they have a heart for God….but. That is what I am dealing with is the….BUT.

I think the one thing I am missing is encouragement and rebuking. I think we need to love people encourage them, but we also need someone that knows us so well that they can take you aside and say “what are you doing?” This is a person that can say, “you know how much I love you, but I see this happening.” Not that I think there is some great sin in my life that needs to be pointed out, but there is that lack of closeness and it frustrates me. There is only one person in my life that I know that can do that, and that is my sister. I know if she says, “Hey I think you are messing this up.” I may get my feelings hurt but I know that I better listen once I get over my feelings of being called on the carpet. Why are there not more people in the church like that? Maybe it is just me.

Why when you are raising teenagers you feel more embarrassed then supported? I think that is where my loneliness is coming from and I am not sure what to do about it. I think that is why I tried to be more active in the church, but my kids schooling has not made that possible. I have one child that goes to tutoring during the week, etc. So it is making it almost physically impossible to be more active. So that is maybe why I am in the season I am in.

I am no way point fault at people at my church, I am just sharing my frustration and Shalee’s post and the sermon I listened to is God bringing forward things I would rather push back and not deal with. Can anyone relate to any of this? And Lord have mercy if you did read all this I pray the Lord will give you an extra dose of blessings. Thanks for letting me ramble.

Trinity from Rooms of My Heart tagged me..(and I have not done a tag in awhile, so thought this would be a good one).

My assignment if I so chose is :

Make a list of 10 things that happened to me. That is all the instructions I got, so I figure 10 things that have happened in my lifetime. (now see I have to remember what my Mom knows and what she doesn’t know since she read this blog =)) JUST KIDDING Mom!

Actually I live a fairly boring life, so coming up with 10 could be a challenge….

1. I fell off a bike and received a concussion when I was about 10 years old or so. I don’t remember it at all, except waking up in the middle of the night wondering what happened to me. (I bet that explains a lot to ya, huh!)

2. I went to the Bahamas as a baby sitter when I was a Senior in high school. The funny thing was I did not even have to babysit that much. And I met some worker that only spoke a little bit of English, and he gave me a tour in all the quarters below. It was an adventure.

3. I got married my Senior year of college. Did not go on a honeymoon.

4. I went into premature labor and gave birth 2 month early (3lb baby).

5. I was pregnant again 9 months later. We bought a TV for the bedroom.

6. The Lord moved me clear across the US from my family…from ALL my family.

7. I gave birth 2 1/2 years later to my third boy, the TV only helped so much. So the doctor took care of that.

(ok this is getting hard, I tell ya I have a boring life)

8. I have never received a speeding ticket in Florida. And yes I have used the “Oh hi officer, did you know my brother is a cop also?” ONLY ONCE!

9. I had major jaw surgery a year ago, and there was much rejoicing in this household when my jaw was rubber band shut!

10. Lastly, I broke a record tonight. I spend over $350 in one stinkin’ grocery shopping trip. I tell ya, they eat me out of house and home. Now we will see if manly man actually reads my blog, for I should hear loud moaning in the other room when he see this =)

Ok I will be mean this time and tag people who I know will still talk to me Iris, Lisa, Deedra, and Terri

Also don’t forget to visit me here:

(click on picture head on over there)

1. I am thankful everyone was so understanding when I forgot my Laced With Grace devotional, especially Iris.

2. I am thankful that everyone was so nice when an email accidentally went out to everyone in my little world.

3. I am thankful for a sister who lifts me up and encourages me when I whine to her.

4. I am thankful for a husband who is there when I am not feeling well.

5. I am thankful I am still able to type after walking almost 5 miles today, and I can still live to tell about it. I walked with several women the WHOLE two hours of football practice. Boy am I feeling it now. I am so out of shape.

6. I am thankful school will begin on the 20th.

7. I am thankful for new friends. Hey if you get a chance can you tell my friend Nicole, hello. I am so blessed by her.

Have a great day!

UPDATE: THEY SENT OUT ANOTHER EMAIL, I AM BEYOND UPSET. I HAVE ASKED THEM TO DELETE MY ACCOUNT. I DO NOT RECOMMEND SHELFAIR. AFTER EMAILING THEM, THEY HAVE NOT RETURNED ANY EMAILS.

Have I told you what great readers you are? Thank you for letting me vent, apologize, and have you help me decide what to do. I am going to use both goodreads and shelfari for awhile. I just can not ignore the fact I have some dear friends on Shelfari that I would like to stay connected with. This will also help me keep track of books I review for CWO Book Buzz (beginning in Sept). Ok enough of that subject, thank you again for your wise counsel.

August 12th I have an interview right here with an author, you will not want to miss it. I am very excited about it.

I have been reading my heart out for books to review and recommend. I have met some new friends through this adventure, in fact there is one lady who I would like to introduce you to. You will be learning more about her in the up-coming months, but both of us believe we had a “God-connection” between two of us.

Anyways instead of keeping her all to myself I would love for you to visit Nicole when you get a chance and say “hi” right now she has to suffer through just my comments, I am sure she would love to get to know many of you. I have told her about the wonderful network of Christian women we have. So overwhelm her with comments =)

Football is still in full swing (now you don’t think I could do a post without mentioning football do you?) Unfortunately as soon as the boys began practicing with full pads the temperatures have been getting warmer. As in too.hot.for.mom! I am such a whimp and have not been staying the whole practice. I know I won’t make Mother of the Year this year, but you know what I relinquished that award about 2 mins after my first child was born. I am anxiously waiting for cooler weather, unfortunately in Florida that happens about end of December, ha!

Now that I am sure I have bored any reader to tears, I hope you have a great week. Don’t forget tomorrow is Thankful Thursday. We would love to have you.