
I believe one of the biggest blessings God gives us are parents or loved ones who pray for us. I had a Grandmother who prayed for my future mate long before I could walk. When I became a teen I was what you called a little “boy crazy.” I liked to hang out with boys, in fact most of my friends were boys. That did back fire on me because they thought of me more as a friend, than a girl they wanted to date. So I was over the moon when I was asked out on dates, some boys I liked, some boys I just went out because it was something fun to do. I lived my life carefree.
There were some boys who really broke my heart, and there were some who liked me, but I did not feel the same way. I was having fun, even into my college days. One thing I did not realize at the time is that I really struggled with self image. So when I was able to turn the head of a boy I was thrilled, I did not realize it at the time but this is how I found my worth. Now mind you I had wonderful, loving parents who always told me I was beautiful, but for some reason it did not sink into this thick skull. As long as I had a boy telling me I was beautiful, life was great. If not, well you would not want to be around me.
By the grace of God I did end up marrying a man who even to this day calls me “Beautiful.” It was not until our marriage was struggling and I did not have that constant affirmation for awhile, that the Lord began to break away my wall of insecurity. He emotionally took everything away, my family lived in another state, my husband and I were struggling, and I did not have anyone to lift me up; to make me feel better.
It was at this time I realized I was not listening to God during the last 10 years of my life, I was only playing church. I called “Lord, Lord” but I did not truly give him my life. I said all the right words, went to church, and lived the Christian life, but I found I did it all in vain.
It was not until the Lord shattered me to pieces through difficulties in my marriage and through financial struggles. It was at this time I began my earnest prayer life, which began something like “HELP.” I clung to God as if I were in the middle of an ocean clinging to a boat. He became my life and salvation. And even to this day when I begin to wander the Lord just has to bring those feeling back to me and I coming running, that was a time I never want to repeat. But before these struggles I did not have the awareness of my need for Him, I did not realize how much my soul yearned for him.
This is why I think the prayers of parents, grandparents or loved ones are so important. Because while I was growing up I did not realize the deep need I had for Christ, I lived the life, but I did not live His way. Today I would rather go without food or water, then to be without the presence of the Lord. I wake up in the morning and He is my first thought, and when I lie down.
It is not until we are aware of our great need, and how we are nothing without Him, do we then begin to deeply pray and seek Him.
“When there is little awareness of real need there is little real prayer.”
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