Laurel Wreath’s Reflections

When I read this quote, I said out loud “isn’t that the truth.” This is something I struggle with and I have to keep things in check. I have three boys that love to play sports, and each has their own activities and none of them drive yet.

Last year I had to step down from helping at church, it was a struggle for me to do so. But to be available for my children, it was a decision I had to make. I struggled with this because I know how hard churches need volunteers, and I do help out in big things. And to be honest I think there are some upset feelings among a few women in my church because I don’t help out as much. Not many of them talk to me anymore, or like they use to. But I am at peace with my decision.

I use to teach bible study, I use to help in the middle school; I use to help in the high school room when they needed help. But when I was leaving my kids at home, to go work at church, it just did not feel right to me. I cried out to the Lord, “where do you want me to serve you?” And the thing that came to my mind is, my kids are only going to be this age one time, and if I am too busy, I am going to miss it. Even busy doing “good stuff.” I will be able to volunteer when I am a bit older, and my kids have their own transportation to do things. Right now my ministry is with them, making sure they are going to all their church functions, taking them to their sport of the season, and picking them up from school each day. I am raising three boys that will one day be “head of a family.” I take this seriously.

My priorities right now are God, husband, kids. And with kids it is homework, extra church activities, and sports. One day the kids will be gone and moved away, so I want to savor every moment and not be “too busy” for them.

God being who he is though then led me to blogging. And that is where I feel I can make a difference. Blogging is my most active ministry right now. Writing for Laced With Grace and Internet Café, makes me feel somehow in some small way I am making a difference for the Kingdom of God.

I am also using this time to study God’s word more, I will then be ready when the Lord may call me in a more active ministry. But for right now I have three boys to raise, and with God’s grace and mercy have them grow up to be Mighty Men of God.

You can get the CWO icon here. Head on over to Fruit In Season to read more wonderful takes on this weeks quote.

I smell the coffee brewing…

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I AM: Study Lesson Two “Beautiful to God”

Discussion Questions:

What is your initial response when anyone suggests you are beautiful?

I could write a book on this subject, but Angela Thomas already beat me to it. The Lord had been working in this area for awhile, and then when I read Angela’s book the flood gates broke. Now many may say I am pretty, and there is a reason God gave me a husband who’s pet name for me is “beautiful” (even ask the people at the office, they know it is me on the phone because he always says ‘hi, beautiful’” but I never believed it. While growing up I had some people around me that were BEAUTIFUL with a capital B, and I never seemed to measure up. At least not in my eyes. I was never as skinny, but was not fat. Was never as pretty or cleared skinned, or did not have the same stylish clothes. Years and years I had the feeling I did not measure up.

When I began dating, the only way I felt I could turn a head is if I made myself beautiful. It was at least a two hour process of getting ready, and basically telling myself I was good enough. Even then I did not respect myself. This followed into my marriage, my husband took on the name “beautiful” while dating and for me it felt almost condescending, like it was thrown in my face the first year. It took him repeatedly telling me how much I drive him crazy until I believe it. I will never forget one night laying in bed about to give birth to my second child, and he told me how beautiful I was. I began crying because I could tell he meant it, and here was this man that looked at me the same way when I was all dressed up for a party, or I was laying next to him looking like a beached whale ready to explode =) That is when God began to really start peeling away the layers of my harden heart.

Do you find you engage in a lot of negative ’self-talk’? How much of your thought life does this form of thinking consume?

I use to, big time. I think I heard myself loudly over what any other person said to me. It led to very low self esteem, it led to me not feeling confident in any of my abilities, and I felt I had nothing to add to my surroundings.

It was not until I took a Beth Moore study and began to repeat OUT LOUD bible verses for my ears to hear. Even today, when I struggle with this, I talk out loud and repeat verses and this really helps me. I don’t have the same negative ’self-talk’ as I did before, before it was around self image. Now it is on my ability to be able to contribute some worthwhile every Saturday on Laced With Grace or to be a vessel for God twice a month at Internet Cafe. Satan really likes to make me feel I am way out of my league. That is why I wrote the Spiritual Armor post awhile ago on Internet Cafe, I have had to cling to that for awhile.

Has it ever occurred to you that you are a City Girl? How do you plan to use this knowledge?

“We are City Girls, high-born daughters of the King and when people look at us they are to see peace and joy in our countenance in such a measure they will say, “Wow, she isn’t from around here is she? That, girls, is the kind of gorgeous we are after. ” (Preacher’s Wife)

This is such a true statement, I had an elderly mentor that you would not think beautiful until your first conversation with her. From that point on I wanted what she had.

In what ways has your view of Godly beauty changed as a result of these Scriptures?

God used this lesson to remind me where I was and where I never want to return. I think that is why I have the passion I do on my blog, to tell women God’s loves them. Because once you let that love penetrate down to the very soul of you, you can’t help but feel beautiful. And the verse the Lord gave me (kind of like my life verse) is this:

Zephaniah 3: 17

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing.

How can you not feel like a beautiful princess, when your bridegroom says that to you?

I wanted to let you wonderful people know that I am trying my best to keep up with ya’ll but my laptop is still at the Geek Drs. office. Somehow I manged to fry a hard drive that was only 3 months old. Don’t ask me how I did that I have no idea. And of course they don’t have the hard drive I need, so they need to ship it out to be fixed. Thank goodness, it is all covered under warranty. But it will still be another week before I get it back.

I have been begging, borrowing, and sometimes sneaking my husbands or my oldest son’s computer =) So it makes it difficult to always keep up with my Google Reader. So if I have not visited or commented please don’t take it personally. In a week or two I should be up running.

Well actually the first week of May I head to Arizona and I won’t be blogging then. So I am asking…

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!

Click here ….

I sure had my ups and my downs today. I will ask for forgiveness for my ramblings ahead of time. But writing might be therapy for me today. If you chose to click away, I totally understand.

Today started out good and as normal as any other day.

First I had my middle son’s Pride Awards assembly, which I am proud to say he did really, really well. He received three awards: Honor Roll, Citizenship Award, & Mathematics Award. So of course I as a mother was patting myself on the back for a job well done. Ok I know he has done all the work, but you know sometimes it is hard work to be the support system. But you know what they say pride comes before the (oh what is that word….)

oh yea….FALL. No sooner did I pat myself on the back, did I receive a call from the middle school. Oldest son was in a fight, and could I please come get him. Wait they must be talking about another parent, I just went to an award assembly and found out what a good parent I was.

I guess Oldest son, was sticking up for another child (and the counselor confirmed this) and they got in a shoving match. I guess this other kid is a bully, who is not nice to a lot of other people. So when my son kind of gave this kid a little of his own medicine, well lets just say they were both hauled in for fighting. When my son was walking away all of the PE class was clapping at him because he stood up to the other boy.

Now let me tell you, I in no way condone fighting. And I told my son you have to accept the consequences of your actions. If you get in trouble at school, you get in trouble at home. And has had a lot of privileges taken away.

But behind closed doors where no one can hear me. As a mother I am proud that my son stood up for others that were being pushed around.

Anyways, I went from cloud 10 of being a good parent, to ground negative 1 to looking like a bad parent. Oh that pride gets in the way so much.

Then I had another UP for the day (it was a roller coaster of a day I tell ya). I got to talk to one of my favorite bloggers on the phone today. I think I babbled her ear off I was so giddy and excited. Oh you want to know who? DeeDee from “It Could’ve Been Worse”. I blurted out all about my son, and she is so sweet. Oh my goodness I am so blessed by her, I pray one day to become in real life friends. Like I said though the conversation was kind of a blur I was so giddy with excitement.

Then I come home to boys who acted like they have been eating sugar all day. BOUNCING. OFF. THE. WALLS. Is it a full moon today? I don’t know. Even when I sent them outside to play I could hear the thumping of tons of balls, either against my house, against the fence, anywhere and everywhere. I felt the pounding in my head. So I head to the mailbox.

Oh my goodness I was again blessed today SO MUCH. Take a look at this card I got in the mail, this was handmade for me. SOMEONE DREW THIS BY HAND…..FOR ME!!

If you look closely, there is a little FOR SALE sign in front of the yard with balloons on it. Then in the yard are boy toys (and that is what my yard looks like scattered with toys). Who did this for me?

Heather at GRACED BY CHRIST I am not even sure how to thank you. I have already thanked her by email, I thanked her again in my comments section. And now on my blog….

I was just so amazed someone would put their time and effort into doing something like this for me. Heather, thank you so much.

The good news:

Then we all headed out to three soccer games. My Oldest tied his game, middle son made a goal and his team won, and youngest scored a goal and his team won.

The bad news:

My computer is still broken, won’t get it for another week. Hard drive fried (after only 3 months of use). I am so mad I could spit, but that would be unlady like. So I will just wait patiently.

Awesome news:

And in two week I get to sit across from a table and chat with Iris at Sting My Heart. Oh my goodness I am so blessed.

See I told you this would be therapy, I began this post feeling worn out, defeated and run over, but as I listed all the wonderful things that happened today, they were so much more than the bad.

Praise God even in my mundane everyday life, I see you Jesus so evident blessing me and loving me. Through friends and through my family. THANK YOU JESUS.

And if you read all of this, my goodness God Bless You Too!!!!

I am content to be and have what in Thy heart I am meant to be and have.
–(George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul)

1. I am so thankful to see such a wonderful response to BooMama’s call to bless Heather. It will never get old to see when people come together, how powerful it can be. Maybe that is why Satan spends so much effort trying divide us.

2. I am so thankful God was so evident in my Broker’s open house. My Realtor had the biggest turn out ever. A good turn out is about 10 or 15 (at most) showing up. We had over 23 show up to walk through my house. UNBELIEVABLE.

3. On the same day they did a “Reator Caravan”, this is where a group of Realtors from different companies travel around looking at newly listed houses and then fill out a form telling the seller what they need to do to make the house more presentable. WE GOT ALL POSITIVE FEEDBACK. It was the first time I felt like I actually knew how to decorate a house =) Everyone was saying “nicely decorated.”

4. I say all this because the two events above would not have been so successful if it were not for the prayers from people close to me. I strongly believe in the power of prayer. Even when it is an answer you did not seek or want.

5. I am thankful the Lord has been giving me some downtime lately, much needed downtime. I have been able to catch my breath and breath in God’s word. Oh how I love him so much, I just can not say it enough to Him and to anyone who will listen.

Please remember the families, students and faculty who were effected by this week’s tragedy. Somehow, someway may God be evident in the healing and restoration for everyone involved.

Lord may more people come to know you, your saving grace, and your hope that you offer.

graphic designed by Ditigal Chatter
To see more memorials head to Grandparents Corner

Please visit Iris at Sting My Heart for more Thankful Thursdays.

So hubby and I were invited to a housewarming party last Friday. They live in a very nice new subdivision, most of the houses are not even built yet. It was a good chance to see some faces we have not caught up with in a year or so. But after this evening I am not sure I have hope in my three boys maturing.

Why you ask? Because even grown men act like boys and do stupid things. One of the couples that was attending the housewarming party also, and were the people we knew best had just arrived (I will call them A & B, B being the husband). They are set to move into a new house they have been building (which seems like forever). It has all been exciting. But you know when it gets down to the wire you have tons of little details to tie up. That is what they did all day Friday, so when they finally arrived you could tell the stress of not moving in yet and finally getting a lot of the last minute details completed were wearing on them. We were even teasing them about it. No sooner than a half hour of being there, B was drooling over the “toy” of a golf cart looking thing in the garage. Well the husband hosting the housewarming party said, “want to go for a ride?” You see where this is going, huh?

They took off, acting like boys, going full speed into the wood behind his house. His house backs up to about 400 acres or forest. The next thing we heard (thank God one of them had a cell phone), was that B had hurt himself. Then we heard there is a lot of blood. And then everyone is very concerned. B had not been at the party for more than a half hour!! The husband hosting called 911, must of been a slow night because everyone showed up, then next thing we heard they had to call in a helicoppter. This was getting down right scary. A went off looking for her husband and to bring him towels and water.

Long story short, they rolled the cart. B shattered the bone in the front of one of his legs and now had a nice steel bar in place where the bone use to be. He is just now getting out of the hospital today.

I feel so much for this couple, it seems when ever there is a big event in their life something happens. When they were trying to get married they had to postpone their wedding three times because of all the hurricanes that were hitting Florida. Now they are set to move into their first house, they have built together and her husband is layed up.

I think I would thank God he was ok, then I would shoot him =)) (just kidding) But you know once he is back to feeling himself we are not going to let him live it down how he is getting out of moving his own furniture =)

So I guess no matter what the age….BOYS WILL BE BOYS. Lord help me!